"I Can't See the Box"

Isobel insisted on going to the viewing at the funeral home because she "wanted to see the box.' (Coffin). She said she wanted to know if it was "square, rectangular or pink."

She burst into tears in the parking lot of the funeral home saying, "It's kind of sad that Grandpa's sister died." We tried to comfort her and Grandpa made the mistake of telling her that "it was okay because she was OLD." That made the situation worse because Isobel thinks, since John and I both have grey hair, that we are OLD.

Isobel then responded, "I am scared someone else is going to die."

At that point I put her in the car and began to drive to the restaurant we'd agreed to go to for lunch. On the way, Isobel tells me, "Poor Auntie Ellen, she only got one visit from me." (Isobel remembers our day trip to Central Butte last September with Grandpa and Grandma). I took a deep breath and said to her, "Well, maybe someday, when you get to heaven, you will be able to visit with Auntie Ellen again."

Again, more tears welled up. And then a little voice answered from the backseat, "But I don't want to have to die to get there."

None of us do, my dear girl.... none of us do.

She fell asleep on John's lap during the actual funeral but was wide awake and intent on seeing everything at the cemetery. At one point, during the commital service she began talking to John. He tried to shush her and she said, "But Johnny.... I can't see the box!" And so he dutifully moved a few feet to the right so that Isobel could have a better view of the proceedings.

It's been an educational week for a small girl...